I thought I'd wait awhile before I reported back with a success story -- since we're all painfully aware of the revolving door associated with the single's world. I thought it important too, that I measure this when the ga-ga phase of marriage cooled a bit -- the one that researchers claim occurs in the amount of time it would take for a first child to pass through infancy -- or basically about two years.
OK then. We're there! :-) And we're still as happy as clams! I'd like to thank LDSMingle then for giving me the opportunity to meet my truly wonderful husband, whom I would have never met otherwise -- barring some extraordinarily improbable miracle.
What I particularly liked here was the personality compatibility feature. Maybe the Color Code seems to totally smack of pop-psych but it is nevertheless an excellent tool. My husband and I are a highly compatible mix of blue (him) and yellow (me). To this day we are both waiting for some hidden horrible attribute to surface from the other because our marriage seems way too easy! We were both formerly married to spouses who were extremely difficult to gel with, at least from our respective ways of approaching life. Yet both of our former spouses were good people who could be the easily appreciated companions of others. We were committed to the long-haul for all the right reasons -- and it was a long, hard road.
We know from the gospel that core differences can be overcome with patience and longsuffering. And the "opposition in all things" principle means that all of us here have seen growth that would otherwise have not occurred. But the thing is: long-suffering requires a lot of suffering! What I discovered as a result of the color code is that basic compatibility goes a long way in preventing the need for constant practice in the ways of patience, tolerance, and nobility. I don't even feel like I'm working at this!
Just like it's always saying in the Ensign, home can be a place of refuge instead of ground zero. Instead of being something to escape from, marriage can be that peaceful place that we want to retreat to.
To those presently searching for that I would say: Take responsibility for any contributions to former marital breakdown -- and continue to examine and learn from those mistakes. And then, hold out for a companion who is, at the core of his/her being, a harmonious blend with your true self. This may take a long time. Often those lists we make of required traits in a spouse describe people who are not found in nature – with the best traits of very different types of people, but none of the flaws! My husband and I have both stated how curious it has been to discover, that paired with a more harmonious individual, the other’s flaws are mostly just mildly amusing. :-)
Thanks for letting me discover that marriage can be a joy – in this lifetime – not just in some far-off perfected celestial future. Wow!
Inconceivable and IznBoyz
inconceivable & IznBoyz
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